Wiping the tears off of your face, then practicing the smile you’re going to have to fake when you walk out of the bathroom.
And even though it hurts me physically to even think about the way you used to hold me, I do anyway because part of me doesn’t want to let you go. Part of me will fight for you for all of eternity. And even though I know I should let you go, even though I know I need to let you go… I can’t… because I still love you and part of me will never forget that, no matter how much you hurt me. I should let you go because it’d be healthy for me to finally leave you in my past for good, but I cant because although you don’t still deserve my love after what you did, after the way you said you’d always be there but left anyway, after the way you left me without a goodbye or an explanation to why… you still have a piece of my heart…
and always will.
I missed you every hour. And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. I’d catch myself just walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I’d seen something that I wanted to tell you about or because I wanted to hear your voice. And then I’d realize that you weren’t there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me.